Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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