If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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