but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
