He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My bed smells like the plague
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
