I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
