It was confusing and full of hummus
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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