so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
