Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
