i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
