Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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