hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
