omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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