Kiss
Puke
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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