You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
