well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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