that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
sarcasm needs its own font
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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