listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
