im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
