It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
