Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
