I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
