something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
