I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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