We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
