Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
