at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
