Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize