hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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