Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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