VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
