yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
