New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
