Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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