New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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