Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
