Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
