I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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