apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
