Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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