so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
