The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
