11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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