Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
