SEEEEXXX PLEASE
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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