Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
