There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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