idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
