Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
