Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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