I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i dont even know how to be here
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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