He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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