That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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