Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
