He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
