We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
