I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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