She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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