so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
