This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize