she was so not down for the gang bang
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
