He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
